


TOME-mon

by Unicornfoal



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, TOME: Terrain of Magical Expertise
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crossover, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-12
Updated: 2014-04-17
Packaged: 2018-01-19 01:20:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1449994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unicornfoal/pseuds/Unicornfoal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if the TOME characters were Pokemon? A crack-fic that has had entirely too much time spent on it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Aside: Traveller's Guide

_The rumours say it all started with five very rare and unique pokemon, born different from their peers by the strange colours they were marked with. Every one was born to a different human breeder, and spent their young lives being paraded around to any human who wished to see..._

_... but it was not as bright and rosy a life as you may have thought._

_You see, once the five different breeders had had their fill of showing off their remarkable pokemon, each one was discarded. One was put in a computer box to live the rest of their life with the other unused pokemon, who came and went as they were given away. One was left in their pokeball on a shelf, alone as they looked out at the world. Another was allowed to wander free, but ignored and treated with contempt by their trainer. The last two were traded around from trainer to trainer, their species and capabilities seen as so useless that they were not worth holding on to for long._

_The first to escape was the youngest, the one left to wander. Next was the one confined to their pokeball, who broke out one night and melted a window with his Fire Blast. The two who were traded simply had enough and ran. The one who was left in their computer was resigning himself to his fate when he was unexpectedly released one morning, his pokeball dropped in a meadow out the back of a Pokemon Centre. Even now, he can only speculate his release was a slip of the finger. By some miracle, the five found each other and resolved that no pokemon should suffer the same fate as them. As it was unsafe to wander, the five sought out the legendary pokemon Jirachi, and wished for a place where no humans could find them, where pokemon could start a new life safe from the fear of abusive or neglectful humans._

_And thus, into existence came a magnificent floating island, invisible to hu-_

"Wait a second!"

The Milotic blinked in surprise as her story was interrupted, looking down at the Shinx and Helioptile sitting before her. "Yes?"

"There's no such thing as a floating island!" the yellow lizard objected. "Even if it's invisible, the humans have jet planes and all sorts of technologies that would mean they'd find it in no time flat!"

The blue electric-cat sat next to him shot him a glare. "Oh, come on stupid, you've heard the stories of the Temporal and Spatial Towers, haven't you? THOSE are floating islands invisible to humans, too!"

Helioptile frowned. "Yeah, those are _stories_. They aren't real!"

As the small pair descended into bickering, the tan sea serpent sighed, batting her golden tail back and forth in mild irritation. "Now now," she chided with a chuckle, "the island of Tome is as real as I am. Didn't you say when you met me that you'd never met a Milotic before, let alone a shiny one?"

Helioptile and Shinx paused, Shinx's teeth gripping Helio's ear while Helio's claws clung tightly to Shinx's left foreleg. They looked up at the Milotic innocently before finally letting go of the other and sitting obediently once more. "Sorry, Miss Kindarspirit," Shinx replied. "But if this island really exists, and it actually floats, how do pokemon wanting to escape humans get there?"

The blue-haired Milotic smiled. This was her favourite part. "Just like the Temporal and Spatial Towers, Tome is held up and kept invisible by an intense psychic power, said to come from the wish-granting abilities of Jirachi itself! It's constantly moving, and they say that it seeks out those who need an escape or call for it." She lowered her head to the comparatively tiny beings before her, themselves small enough to fit in her mouth. "All you do it call its name, and the island itself lifts you up."

Shinx and Helioptile shared a curious glance, this time Shinx looking suspicious. "That makes sense," Helio decided. "So if you're in trouble, you just think really hard about how you want to be on this island, and it teleports you up there?"

"Oh, come on!" Shinx cried, lifting her forepaws as she looked skywards. "You really ARE kidding us, aren't you? Islands are just piles of dirt, they can't think for themselves!"

Kindarspirit chuckled again. "If you say so, little one," she said with a smile. "Unfortunately, it's high time I returned home." She turned her face to the heavens, and as the Shinx and Helioptile watched, she disappeared in a flash of light.

"That was freaky," Shinx muttered after a long pause.

"Agreed," Helioptile added.


	2. Episode One: Ghosts of Ancient Times

The sun beat down on the earth of the wastelands, breaking through the meagre covering of a small burrow, hidden beneath a copse of lavender bushes. Sounds of movement emerged, and the thin curtain was pushed aside by a small brown cat-like creature, who smiled as he took a deep breath of the air. "Ah," he sighed. "Smell that perfumed air." He skipped out of the flower-covered bushes, checking around for any mail left for him and, finding none, skipped off down the path.

From atop a nearby hill, a white bipedal figure with two red fins on his head watched and grinned. "Well, it's about time!" he cried, before pulling out a short stick and taking a great leap into the air.

The Eevee took little more than a glance upwards before jumping back, just barely avoiding the taller Ralts as he slammed into the path ahead, a purple blast of psychic energy flying off his stick-blade. "Y'know, I'm still trying to wrap my head around it," he calmly replied in a conversational tone.

Kirbopher the Ralts frowned, his orange eyes barely visible behind his helmet-like head of green hair. "What- what do you mean?" he asked, a hint of frustration in his voice. "What are you talking about?"

"About how you find screaming at the top of your lungs to be an effective opening attack," Alpha the Eevee pointed out with a smirk.

Offended, Kirb growled and shouted "Don't tell me how to fight my battles!" In an instant, he had leapt into the air again, bypassing the trip hazards of the long frills extending off his ankles to physically tackle his smaller friend.

Alpha threw up a Protect shield, which Kirb bounced off, and once the Ralts had landed, the Eevee dropped the thin green barrier and waved a paw to summon several small stars, which flew directly past Kirb's stick-blade and hit him across the middle. While Kirb was recovering, Alpha leapt forward, but as Kirb began waving his stick again, the Eevee jumped into the air, over the Ralts, sliding on the dirt so he faced Kirb again.

As the Ralts wasted precious time clumsily turning around over his ankle-frills, Alpha activated his Hidden Power and slammed into Kirb headfirst, the thin flames knocking his friend flat on the ground.

The battle was over. Everyone knew the rules of combat in the northern wastelands, set up precisely to avoid the battling that most pokemon still loved dearly ending in bloodshed. Thus, Alpha sat and cleaned a paw with his tongue while Kirb lay on his back, glaring at the sky.

"So, uh," Alpha ventured with a smile. "You wanna meet up with the guys?"

Kirb sighed, then threw his friend a mock salute with a fingerless hand. "Sure."

 

* * *

 

Elsewhere on the northern peninsula of Tome, a small, yellow fox and a smaller purple blob stood side-by-side against a cliff, watching a nearby crowd of pokemon surrounding a battle. The Fennekin, a young female by the name of Flamegirl, sighed. "I'm a little uneasy about this," she said. "Not gonna lie."

"Hm," the Ditto by her side, technically genderless like the rest of his kind, grunted.

"I mean," she continued, frustration tinging her tone, "how many times have we tried this? How many times have we had the _exact, same, result?_ "

"Hm," the Ditto repeated.

Deciding she was being an unnecessary sourpuss, Flamegirl turned to her friend with a small smile. "So, how are the many kids?"

"You're mistaken," Gamecrazed the Ditto responded, not a hint of emotion crossing his face.

Flamey grimaced. "I-I know," she pointed out. "It's... a joke."

"You're mistaken about our effort," GC elaborated, turning to face the fox.

Sighing, Flamey sat back. "We'll see," she conceded. "Whatever century he decides to show up."

A voice rang out through the hills. "HARK! The age you speaketh of has come!" As if on cue, a shadow fell over the duo from the cliff above, and they looked up to see a familiar green dragon-type pokemon, twice the height of GC, standing heroically on the edge, the loose red cape tied around his neck flapping in the breeze as he held his beloved sword high. "Above thine heads cometh the return of, _NYLOCKE! Dragon of the cold steel!_ "

The Axew leapt forward with a loud " _WHOOSH!_ ", landing easily on the ground before his friends, and grinned madly around his tusks. He hefted his handmade sword, constructed out of a discarded tusk, over his shoulder.

Barely even reacting to the impressive arrival, Flamey looked around the small clearing. "Alright, I think Alpha should be on his way by now, so we'll be set in a few minutes," she mused.

"They're here," GC replied.

Nylocke somehow managed to beam even brighter. "Excellent!"

Around a corner came the Eevee and Ralts, walking side by side as they gently bickered over the results of their sparring. As they approached the waiting trio, Flamey smiled and waved a paw in greeting. "Yo."

"Greetings, Sir Alpha of the Elemental Range," Nye loudly contributed, "and good morrow young Squire Kirboffer!"

"It's KIRBOPHER," Kirb growled as he and Alpha joined the group. "It's like Christopher, 'cept curvier."

"So it is!" Nye replied, his grin nor his volume fading in any way. "Forgive me, for I-!" Holding his sword high, Nylocke promptly jumped into the air, not seeing Kirb's frustrated eye rolling as he shouted " _NYLOCKE! Dragon of mispronunciation!_ Shall rectify thy situation!"

Restraining himself from doing anything more than balling his hands into fists, Kirb muttered to himself "Stupid roleplayers..." It was a sad truth that the majority of Tome's populace was made up of abused pokemon escaping their former trainers, and thus many of them saw escape as a chance to redefine themselves. Some, to Kirb's neverending irritation, took it somewhat further than others.

"So what's the plan?" Alpha interrupted.

Nye raised his free hand into the air triumphantly. "Fear not, ye of the many evolutionary pathways, I have received word from our partners in justice!"

Kirb crossed his arms and stopped paying attention. He had befriended the other four because they shared his passion for battling and keeping the peace of Tome, but they also had a newfound annoying habit of forming a miniature militia to face the occasional attacks of a certain pair of rule-breakers who were smashing through the northern wastelands with no regard for their fellow Pokemon. The fact that the pair wielded strange objects that not only enhanced their strength tenfold but made them invulnerable too did not stop Flamey and Nylocke from continuing to organise and enact their plans after their so-far six defeats. When Kirb pointed this out to them however, they simply brushed him off. It was no big deal to the Ralts, as he knew full well their latest plan would fail just like all the others when it came to the two rogues, but if his friends weren't going to discuss anything else today, he had no reason to hang around. "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the woods beating down chumps," Kirb sighed, turning and walking away from the conversation.

Flamey's eyes narrowed. "You do that," she said.

"I will!" Kirb called out in reply, turning only briefly to ensure she got his meaning.

Alpha nervously smiled. "I'll come hang in a little while," he told Kirb before the Ralts left their range of hearing, and got a brief wave in reply.

"What say ye, Sir Alpha?" Nye asked, eager to convince their newest friend to finally join the ongoing fight for justice. "Shalln't thy join our merry band of rag-tags in our efforts to best the rogue threat that plagues our land?"

The Eevee resisted a nervous laugh as he admitted he was thinking about it, which his Axew friend accepted before 'whooshing' away with GC in tow, leaving Alpha alone with Flamey.

"You have weird friends," Alpha noted.

Flamey sighed. "Yup."

"I like your weird friends."

 

* * *

 

They had gone to the woods to look for Kirb, but, as it turned out, Kirb found them first. That was how the three-on-five battle had started, anyway. Alpha had charged headfirst at the smallest of the opposing group, a Spritzee that dove on him from above, and threw her back with a well-timed Water Gun that sent her flapping off into the trees. Kirb meanwhile took on the two largest, a Kecleon that stood a head taller than him and a Haunter that towered above everybody. Flamey ran after the Machop, twice her height, and ran her in circles before tripping her over onto the ground, an undisputable loss. Alpha had taken a run for the last member of the group and the only one his size, a Magnemite, but its electric attacks took him by surprise and threw him out of the clearing.

"Augh, dammit!" Kirb growled as the battle came to a momentary halt.

"You alright?" Flamey called, looking worriedly at the clump of bushes Alpha had disappeared into.

The Magnemite scoffed, turning to his friends. "Leave that one; He's barely worth the experience! What a chump!"

Inside the bush the small Eevee had collided with, Alpha awoke to find he had hit the trunk with such power that it had shifted in the soil. Underneath, to his surprise, was a small burrow, just big enough for him to squeeze into. At first, he thought he should leave the bush and wait for his friends to finish, but the sounds of the now-two-on-three battle reached his ears and he winced to himself as he remembered the Magnemite's comment. The genderless pokemon had been right, and Alpha had demonstrated that when he tried to attack an Electric-type with Thundershock. How stupid could he have been? Not to mention, the uncovered tunnel looked too small for Flamey or Kirb to even fit, so did he really have a reason to tell them about it just yet? Alpha made his decision, took a determined look at the bush's roots, then pushed them aside and crawled down into the hidden burrow.

It was very dark. Alpha could feel the dirt on the ceiling and walls falling off as his ears, neck ruff and tail brushed against them, the smell of the earth pervading his nose until he could smell nothing else. 'Man, I'll have to take a serious bath when this is over,' he thought to himself. It occurred to him that maybe he should go back and at least find GC to explore with him, only to discover the tunnel was too small for him to turn around. 'Dammit!' Alpha cursed, and he peered hopefully into the darkness ahead. 'Man, I hope this thing widens out ahead. Then I could turn around there.' He thought for a moment, then sighed and continued moving, hoping there really was an opening further down. If not, he wasn't looking forward to having to walk backwards all the way out.

For once in his life, Alpha seemed to have luck on his side, as sure enough he eventually felt the ceiling above him rising, shortly followed by the walls widening away. He stood still for a moment, turning his head all around in a vain effort to see even the smallest hint of light, but it was simply too dark. His sense of smell was no better, as all he could find without leaving the safety of the wall was the constant scent of the wet earth. "Well, this was a waste of time!" Alpha angrily muttered, then made to turn around and head back the way he came.

**_hi_ **

Alpha almost jumped in surprise. The tunnel was occupied!

**_how can i help you_ **

Gulping nervously, the Eevee turned back to the open space, hoping he was looking in the right direction of whoever's home he had accidentally wandered into. "Uh, I'm sorry, I just lost a battle and I happened to find this burrow and I was curious what would be down here and-"

**_you have a problem_ **

Alpha frowned. Surely whoever this guy was, they were some kind of Psychic-type to be thought-talking to him, and he knew from Kirb that Psychic-types weren't supposed to be able to read more than the surface thoughts of any minds around them... and even then it wasn't necessarily an easy thing to do. "What are you talking about?" he asked, his fear gone. "My only problem right now is that I'm lost, and-"

**_you need to be strong to help your friends_ **

Shocked speechless, Alpha blinked as his fear returned. "What?"

**_if you do not remain strong you will lose your friends_ **

**_they will abandon you as if you were nothing_ **

Alpha shook his head to shake off the shock, and glared into the darkness all around him. "Okay, no more riddle-speak now," he attempted to demand through a shaky voice. "Who are you?"

**_just another friend_ **

At this, the Eevee found his fear disappearing again. Maybe whoever he'd found was also lost down here and needed help? He slowly ventured away from the safety of the burrow's wall, carefully edging directly forward from the tunnel's entrance. "Can I trust you?" he asked.

**_i will help you like no one else possibly could_ **

Finally, Alpha seemed to find something in his slow advance, touching a soft, goo-like substance with a paw. "What's the catch?" he asked suspiciously, a part of his mind running through the various kinds of psychic pokemon he knew of in the hope he could match whatever was under his foot.

**_only that you let me in_ **

Alpha froze. "Let you...?"

**_so that i may be let out_ **

Suddenly, whatever was under Alpha's paw erupted into movement, changing into a cold mist that surrounded the tiny Eevee, crawling under his thick fur and up his nose and mouth as it fought its way into his body. Alpha tried to fight, but found only tremendous spikes of pain in his head greeting him, getting harder and harder to bear with each stifled cry as the mist entered his skin, leaving a prickling sensation all over his body.

In the darkness of the hidden burrow, blue eyes flashed.

 

* * *

 

After finally losing to the Haunter's type advantage (she had licked him a couple times until he became paralysed, then starting casting Hex until he admitted defeat), Kirb excused himself from the battle to seek out the nearest Audino Station to heal up. Even if he had lost, the Ralts had to admit it had been a fun battle. After all, that was the entire point of the northern wastelands, wasn't it? It was a place to practise your battling skills, which was the thing every pokemon craved. Well, every pokemon in their right mind, anyway. The small hut at the entrance to the woods finally came into sight, and Kirb pushed his stiff body towards it. "Hey!" he called, trying and failing to properly wave a numb arm.

Out of the small hut poked the head of a Chansey, who gasped in surprise when she saw the Ralts and hurried out the doorway, dashing across to him. "Oh dear me, you poor thing!" she cried, grabbing the tiny Psychic-type and putting him in her currently-empty egg pouch, which happened to fit him perfectly. "Who would intentionally paralyse such a small creature as you?" the nurse pokemon continued to coo as she carried him back into her hut.

Kirb resisted the urge to roll his eyes. As a smaller pokemon, the nurses in the Audino Stations always felt the need to mother him, occasionally even lecturing him on getting into battles in the first place. They did the same thing to all the small pokemon, he knew that, but it didn't stop their behaviour being annoying to deal with.

Chansey entered her hut and removed Kirb from her pouch, placing him on the cot inside. He sat there patiently as she rooted through a small pile of bags before finding the one she wanted with a loud "Aha!", and pulled out a small red berry with a long stem. She handed it to him with a caring smile. "Here, honey; This will heal your paralysis."

Kirb took the offered Cheri Berry gratefully and tucked in. Usually he would find the berries he needed growing in the woods on his own, but today he hadn't come across any useful ones before reaching the nearest Station. A significant number of the other pokemon on Tome would go directly to the Stations anyway, as berry-hunting could be a pain and it took a while to learn how to tell them apart and what effects they had. Cheri Berries, thankfully, were very potent despite their size, and by the time Kirb had finished he could feel the stiffness and numbness fading away already. Of course, part of that could easily be due to the Heal Pulse the Chansey nurse was casting over him to restore his health from the battle.

Handing over the inedible stem, Kirb gave the nurse a grateful smile. "Thanks," he said.

Chansey smiled. "No problem, sweetie!" she chirped, helping him down from the bed. "Don't you go getting yourself so badly hurt again!"

Kirb nodded and made his getaway out of the hut and back onto the path into the woods, but was halted at the doorway as a distant spike of energy shot through his mind like a bullet, hitting him almost like a physical jolt as he grabbed his head to contain it.

"Ralts, dear?" Chansey asked in concern.

Kirb gulped, slowly lowering his arms. "Oh no," he breathed, then dashed off into the woods.

Chansey watched him go with confusion and concern. "Are you sure you're alright?" she shouted, but Kirb ignored her, disappearing behind the trees. "If he's in such a hurry, why doesn't he teleport?" she grumbled, returning to her hut to tidy away her berry bags and await her next patient.

 

* * *

 

Flamey followed behind Alpha nervously as they exited the woods, heading directly towards where they had agreed to meet Nye and GC for the anti-rogue mission. Once she had defeated the last of the group they'd been fighting, the five had said their polite goodbyes and wandered off while Flamey had looked around for Kirb and Alpha. To her surprise, she quickly spotted Alpha stood by a bush at the edge of the clearing, covered in a light dusting of soil and glaring off into the distance. She'd tried talking to him and he'd barely looked at her as he'd expressed the desire to fight off the rogues, and Flamey had subsequently been so distracted she'd completely forgotten about Kirb. She could only hope the Ralts wouldn't be too upset when he returned and found their clearing empty.

The Fennekin looked up at the sun and judged it to be around three o'clock. "I hope we're not late," she whispered to herself.

Alpha's ear twitched, and Flamey realised he must have heard. "We won't be," he assured her. "They can't do anything worthwhile until we get there."

Flamey frowned, wondering what the Eevee meant. He was oddly confident... nothing like Alpha's usual shy, unassuming nature. What had come over him?

She had no more time to ponder, as the two entered the cliffs and heard explosions up ahead. Through the air, they saw the flung figures of five different pokemon, two of whom Flamey instantly recognised as a Pawniard and a Froslass. "Sat! Whyti!" she cried, then turned to Alpha to see he was already walking off, towards the explosions. "Wait!" she called, running after him to catch up. "Those two rogues just blew apart our friends! We don't stand a chance!"

Alpha smirked, still staring dead ahead. "We'll see," he replied.

They turned a corner and saw up ahead a Muk and a Zigzagoon, the two rogues Flamey and Nye had been fighting for almost a month now. Both wore a rope collar with a glowing stone clipped to them, the items that seemed to grant the pair their incredible power. They seemed to be in the middle of a discussion, but as Alpha and an increasingly nervous Flamey approached, they spotted the pair and took up battle positions with smug grins. Behind them, Nye and GC came running out from behind a stone pillar, Nye's bone sword held at the ready.

"You're surrounded," Alpha announced, standing tall and confident despite being smaller than even the Zigzagoon.

"Surrounded by what?" scoffed the towering Muk, who went by the name Doubling. "A buncha lame kids?"

"Not exactly."

Rockoon the Zigzagoon laughed madly, pointing at Alpha with great amusement. "Ah, man, you funny!" he sighed as the laughter died.

Flamey noticed GC and Nye carefully stepping back, leaving plenty of space should a battle ensue between Alpha and the rogues. "Are you alright?" she finally asked the Eevee, but he ignored her.

"Suckas just don't know!" Rockoon cried, glaring threateningly at Alpha. "You don't know who you dealin' with, Sandslash head!"

Alpha's smirk only seemed to get bigger. "I dare you," he calmly replied.

Doubling waggled his gooey fingers with an amused smile. "Ooooh, big guy!" Rockoon similarly laughed, crying it was 'fun time' as he generated several more of his Seed Bombs in his spiky paws.

Flamey jumped back in surprise as the bombs flew through the air towards her and Alpha, but instead of running back with her and circling to join Nye and GC, Alpha stayed put, waiting to evade the bombs until the last second and moving so fast it almost looked like he had teleported as he ran up to Rockoon and Quick Attacked him across the pathway. Doubling stepped up to take his partner's place, calling "Kid gloves off, furball," as he threw an arm at the tiny Eevee for a devastating Brick Break. Smirking, Alpha only raised a paw and caught the gooey arm, activating his Hidden Power to surround himself with flames and somehow knocking back the massive opponent, who had left not a single mark on him.

No one assembled in the narrow gorge noticed the faint shimmer in the air above them that betrayed a hidden viewer of the goings-on below.

Rockoon flew out of the earth below Alpha, forcing the Eevee to jump back to avoid it. In retaliation, Alpha let loose with a flurry of small stars, which flew at Rockoon and hit their target without fail, knocking him to the ground. "You're gonna stop this nonsense," Alpha ordered, " _right now_."

The Zigzagoon pulled himself to his feet, seemingly unharmed, and cried "I am not gonna listen to no spiky-headed muthascratcher," he held up a paw, claws held together as though he was holding a cup of tea, "when I'm having a grand old time BLOWING THINGS UP!"

Rockoon bounced as he laughed madly, but Alpha was unfazed. "Your funeral." As Flamey, Nye and GC watched from the pillar behind him, a dark cloud formed around their Eevee friend, completely obscuring him from view.

"Bomb time, _bomb time, BOMB TIME!_ " Rockoon laughed, pulling out more Seed Bombs and chucking them at Alpha, only for the dark cloud to harmlessly absorb them. Apparently offended by the effortless waving off of his attack, Rockoon cried "Oh, you gon' PAY now!" and rolled up into a ball, executing a flawless Rollout in Alpha's direction. To everyone's surprise, the moment the Zigzagoon made contact with the cloud, he was thrown back, crying in pain as he curled up into a ball at Doubling's side.

The Muk blinked in surprise, looking down at his partner in crime. "What's this 'ouch' crap?" he asked. "We're s'posed to be invulnerable with these things!"

"It hurts, man!" Rockoon objected. "Legit! The owie-owies, they don't quit!"

Rolling his eyes, Doubling sighed. "Get outta my way, hairball, I got this." His amorphous body swelled, then spat out several balls of goo in Alpha's direction, all of which, just like Rockoon's bombs, dissipated as they hit the cloud. "What the hell is that?" the Muk asked with increasing annoyance, then raced his slimy body along the ground in a Sludge Wave, ignoring Rockoon's warning cries. Just like Rockoon, when he touched Alpha's shield, he recoiled in pain, swearing loudly.

"I TOL'ju man, I TOL'ju!" Rockoon pointed out. "Now why you gotta go 'n do dat!? Why you so stupid?"

"Do you give?" Alpha asked, the cloud thinning to reveal his smug smile.

Doubling frowned. "Turn that thing _off_ , man! That's not even funny! You know that thing could kill someone who wasn't protected like we are?"

To everyone's surprise, Alpha seemed to agree, the dark cloud around him fading away. Rockoon, however, seemed to have no concept of playing fair, immediately shouting "I'm gon' make some Swiss cheese outta you!" and once again charging at the Eevee. In an instant, the dark cloud was reestablished, throwing Rockoon into such a fit of pain, he seemed to faint on the rocky ground.

"Holy crap, forget this!" cried Doubling.

Alpha seemed to jolt in surprise, the smug smirk dropping from his face in an instant. "Huh?"

"You are NOT worth what they're payin' me!" The Muk objected, activating his rope collar. "Freak!" With that, he teleported away in a flash of light.

"Whoa," Alpha muttered to himself in shock.

Rockoon pulled himself to his feet and looked up at the Eevee in fear. "Okay, run away!" he cried, turning and dashing away as fast as he could, only to meet a Ralts turning the corner, who grabbed the fleeing pokemon with Psychic and tossed him off into the sky. "I don't like thiiiiiiiiis...!" the Zigzagoon was heard to shout as he disappeared into the clouded sky.

Kirb waved as he approached his friends, a cocky grin on his face. "Yo, what'd I miss, guys?"

There was a moment's pause as the other four stopped to process what had just happened. "The coolest damn thing I've ever _seen!_ " Flamey cheerfully answered, breaking the silence. "He just made the way we fought those rogues the past month look like a freakin' pre-school game!"

Kirb crossed his arms, his grin fading and his expression unreadable. "Huh."

Flamey continued with a breathy sigh of belated amazement, "Oh, you shoulda been there! The freaky little Zigzagoon lost his mind, and then the Muk tried his luck, and turned into a scared little kid right along with him! They both just bolted out of here with their tails between their legs, it was _great!_ "

"Is that so."

"Unbelievable!" shouted Nye with his typical enthusiasm. "Stupendous! Other poetic descriptions! I," he jumped into the air, " _NYLOCKE! Dragon of surpassed expectations!_ Am proud to call you, Sir Alpha of Rogue-Busting, a true warrior in arms! Nay, a friend! Oh, I am overcome!" Nye began to wobble back and forth, and before long had fallen on his back. "There I go! I'm on the floor! Oh, mercy!"

GC gave an amazed Alpha the smallest of smiles. "Thank you."

Kirb watched with growing anger as Nye and Flamey convinced Alpha of how 'awesome' he'd been in the fight, none of them saying anything about the unusual dark shield or Alpha's odd demeanour while using it, and held his tongue.

 

* * *

 

Deep inside the floating island known as Tome, Doubling the Muk arrived in a dimly lit cave with a flash of light. He looked around in the faint sunlight, aided by the glow of his collar, before he heard a deep voice behind him.

" **Doubling. Why have you returned?** "

With a grunt, Doubling turned to see a glowing pair of eyes in the darkness, and he tore off his collar to throw it at their feet. "I'll tell you why! This effin' thing don't work! Some minuscule Eevee just beat both me and Rockoon without even tryin'! I've had enough of this freakin' floaty island, and I never want to see it again!"

The being in the shadows cocked their head curiously. " **This Eevee... Please tell me what happened before you do anything drastic. It may have something to do with your mission.** "

The Muk sighed. "It's a weird story, but if you insist on hearin' it, I ain't gonna stop you..."


	3. Episode Two: The Yamask Shield

In the northwestern section of the island of Tome, a small crowd had formed in the dead of night. The moon shone down and illuminated the large empty space the crowd of pokemon of all shapes and sizes had left, revealing a tall red biped with flame-markings all over that towered above most of them. He raised one cannon-like arm at an opponent Mareep and blasted her away to be caught by a Charmeleon at the edge of the crowd. An Audino came running up to the small sheep's aid, and the cheering crowd all turned their attentions back to the Magmortar, who basked in their applause, laughing mightily. "Awright you bunch of mugs," he announced, "who's next? I got one more in me before I gotta turn in."

"Well well well well well," came a voice from the crowd. "Look at mister hotshot with the slick new skills." Strolling out of the assembled masses came a confident-looking Ralts, a fraction the size of his would-be opponent, and wielding a flimsy looking stick in one hand.

The Magmortar raised an eyebrow doubtfully as he turned to survey the smaller pokemon. "And you are?"

The Ralts flashed a cocky grin. "Name's Kirbopher. And you must be Sniperwheel, right? Don't go thinkin' you own the place just 'cause you've got a few wins on your record."

Sniperwheel scoffed, waving an arm. "Yeah, you're one to talk! But talk's cheap where I come from, y'understand?"

Holding his stick ready, Kirb jumped into a battle stance. "Funny, same with me," he replied. "Maybe we come from the same place."

"Huh!" Sniperwheel laughed, looking down at the Ralts in disbelief. "I was hopin' for somethin' a little more engagin' than you!"

"Engaging?" Kirb repeated, trying to lift his head to show off his offended glare from beneath his green hair. "I'm not gonna _marry_ you, I'm gonna _kick your ass!_ "

In moments, the two had jumped into battle. Despite his smaller size, Kirb proved to be a formidable opponent, jumping out of the way of Sniperwheel's shots, or even batting them away with his stick. The entire battle, Kirb never dropped his smug grin, and as he blew away a storm of fireballs with a miniature Twister, he even took the time to gloat, turning to the Magmortar and saying with an exaggerated bored tone, "Next!"

Sniperwheel scoffed to himself, then raised one arm and began focusing energy in the cannon.

Kirb squinted, his cocky grin finally fading. "Is that... a Focus Blast?" he asked curiously.

"Ha!" the Magmortar barked. "I call this my Head-cannon! Because, in my headcanon, you die!"

Resisting the urge to roll his eyes at the terrible pun, Kirb took a run directly at the Magmortar, who was blind to the outside world as he focussed his mind on the shot he was preparing. There was one surefire way of defeating someone with the Focus Blast attack, and, luckily for him, Kirb happened to know exactly what it was. The moment he was close enough, he leapt into the air, climbing up the Magmortar until he reached his head, and banged it as hard as he could with his flimsy stick. Sniperwheel, shocked out of the concentration needed for the attack, let it all out in one haphazard blast, falling to the ground, his energy totally spent. Kirb jumped out the way of the massive falling body just in time, turning back with pride to survey the Magmortar as the Audino in the crowd hurriedly ran up and cast a Heal Pulse over him to bring him back up to speed.

Grinning widely, Kirb strolled up to Sniperwheel's side and leaned against his shoulder, the pair of them now able to see each other at the same level. "Well, I had fun."

Sniperwheel seemed to smile up at the Ralts. "You're not bad at all," he admitted.

"Let's go again!" Kirb chirped cheerily, pushing himself off the larger pokemon.

Pulling himself to his feet, Sniperwheel shook his head. "Bluh, sorry," he said, "I am _done_ for the day."

Annoyed, Kirb cried, "Oh gimme a break! It's only just gone eleven! What is it, your _bedtime_?"

"Hey, some of us have _jobs_ , okay?" Sniperwheel objected. "And you're like, what, level fifteen or somethin'? Probably."

The Ralts bristled. "I-! Don't have to answer that!" he insisted, forcing himself to keep his arms at his sides instead of trying to cross them as a subconscious shield.

Sniperwheel sighed. "Okay, alright! Alright, if it means _that_ much to you, I'll go one more round."

Kirb blinked, his attention drawn to the crowd. To one side, he'd spotted a familiar shade of purple, and quickly located a Ditto making his way towards the woods. Eyes narrowed, Kirb clutched his stick. "Uh, second thought," he admitted, "I'm raincheckin' this one."

"What!?" Sniperwheel cried in disbelief. "Don't tell me you're runnin' away!"

Keeping his eyes locked on GC in the distance, Kirb walked off into the crowd. "No," he explained, "just got something more important to worry about."

"Hey, so do I! It's my nine to five!" The Magmortar shouted, but Kirb had already gone. "Ah, forget you..."

 

* * *

 

Kirb would never have expected to run into Nylocke as he followed GC through the woods. He expected Nye to be _also_ following GC even less. However, neither of those beat the sight that greeted him as the Axew and Ralts emerged into a clearing and saw where their shadowy figure of a friend had been heading.

Nylocke's eyes narrowed as he peered at the seemingly-complete building before them. "Curious," he said, rubbing his chin. "A mansion in the middle of the woods, the likes of which I've never laid eyes on. Seems to be under construction at this time."

"Yeah," Kirb muttered distractedly.

"Squire?" Nye asked, turning curiously to the Ralts at his side.

Kirb ignored his friend, making a beeline for the mansion's door. "Let's go."

Nylocke jumped after his friend, nervously pointing at a 'Keep Out' sign as they passed. "B-but, the sign!"

Scoffing, Kirb shot a glare at Nye and cried "Whatever! If GC can get inside, then so can we!" He grinned, holding his stick ready as he grabbed the door handle. "C'mon, I gotta feeling something veeery interesting's waiting for us!"

"Indeedly so!" Nye agreed. Kirb pulled open the door and the pair walked in.

They emerged into a dark entranceway, halls going off in every direction and disappearing into the darkness. In front of them was a magnificent staircase, heading upwards and out of sight. "Huh. Where'd he go?" Kirb wondered.

Nylocke raised an eyebrow. "You are a Ralts, are you not?" he pointed out. "Perhaps thou can use thine empathic abilities to locate his position relative to us?"

"O-oh, right," Kirb nervously cried with a smile. "I forgot about that..." Quickly dropping his stick on the ground, he put his hands on his head and paused for a moment.

Smiling proudly, Nylocke gave himself a mental pat on the back for remembering the useful fact. Ralts were best known for their innate ability to sense emotions through their red fins, often said to be drawn to positive ones. It never came up with Kirb, so the Axew assumed his friend had shut himself off from the ability, although he wasn't going to ask why.

Kirb sprung back to life, shaking his head and grabbing his stick. "I think he's gone up," he said. "It's difficult to tell with GC."

"Understood!" Nye cried, pulling his bone sword out of his belt and holding it high. "To the stairs!"

" _Will you be quiet!?_ " Kirb whispered with a glare. "We _don't_ want him to know we're here, remember!?"

"Ha ha..." Nye nervously laughed, replacing his blade. "Right."

Without another word, the pair ran to the stairwell and climbed up to the next floor, which, apart from the missing front door, seemed identical to the lower level. They paused to allow Kirb to locate GC again, then continued to climb, floor after floor until there was no more stair to climb.

Kirb sighed. "Surely he's on this floor, right?"

"Unless he has ascended to the roof," Nye remarked with a sly smile.

The Ralts shot Nye a glare, then looked around at the five hallways surrounding them. "This place is a maze," he said. "I don't think locating him by _feelings_ is going to help us here."

Also casting his eyes over their choice of hallways, Nye spotted something and grinned. "Squire," he said, pointing down one of the hallways to their right, "I believe I see a source of light!"

Blinking in surprise, Kirb looked where Nye was pointing and grinned. "C'mon!" he cried, dashing down the indicated hall, Nye close behind.

Sure enough, the layout of the rooms and hallways proved to be a literal maze, but with the distant light to follow, Nye and Kirb quickly found their way to a large room. For the first time, they were able to see that the floor was tiled white and blue, and bamboo shoots were placed around the walls at regular intervals. A large painting of a golden Volcarona was hung in a prominent position, and in front of it, sitting alone on the floor, was a battery-powered lantern, seemingly abandoned by its owner.

"Damn!" Kirb muttered as they walked out into the room. "Figures. He might not even be _here_ anymore." Nye shrugged and said something in reply, looking around the room, but the Ralts was ignoring him, staring at the abandoned lantern on the floor. _Something_ was off about this, and he was determined to find out what it was and _get out_ as soon as possible. A faint crackling sound in the dark reached Kirb's ears and he froze. "Hey, did you hear that?" he whispered.

"Nay?" Nylocke replied, one hand on his sword hilt as he stood at the ready for an attack. Suddenly, two balls of crackling purple energy flew out of the distant shadows and knocked the pair to the tiles. It wasn't too strong an attack, allowing them to quickly get back to their feet as they adopted battle-ready poses, and they quickly spotted the originator of the attack: A small, living shadow clad in a brown trilby, floating around the other side of the room.

The Yamask gripped his golden mask tightly with his tail and frowned at the intruders. "What do you two think you're doing here?" he demanded.

Nye held out his sword dramatically. "What-ho? A challenger appears!" he cried with a grin.

"You wish," the Yamask replied, rolling his eyes. "I'm Asterob, the one who designed this place! Apparently you forgot to read the sign outside."

"Oh, we read it," Kirb replied with a smirk.

"Then you should know full well that you're not supposed to be here!" Asterob cried indignantly. "I could be _banished_ , y'know! Or worse, fired!"

Kirb blinked in surprise. "Say what?"

"Nay, mask-wielder!" Nye announced, pointing dramatically.

Frowning, the Yamask muttered, "I have a name, y'know."

"We have trekked long and hard to this place!" Nye continued, ignoring their opponent. "We shalln't back down without a fight!"

Asterob groaned and gripped his mask tightly, hiding behind it. "I hate doing this," he muttered.

Nye dashed forward and whacked away at the Yamask with his sword, hitting only the purple-lined mask that the other pokemon was hiding behind. Realising his attacks weren't doing anything, he jumped back again, clearing the way for Kirb to throw off a few of his long-range moves, all of which were also blocked.

"This enemy's defences are nigh invincible!" Nye loudly cried to Kirb, either ignoring or not noticing the fact he was standing right next to him. "But one shalln't seize victory without an offence!"

"No joke," Kirb agreed.

"Please," Asterob called, "just leave!" He held out one hand, gathering up a third, much smaller, Shadow Ball, and tossed it sheepishly at his opponents.

Nye easily knocked the makeshift bomb aside with his bone-sword, exploding it harmlessly against the wall. Standing proudly, he announced, "Your mighty shield cannot last you forever!"

As one, Nylocke and Kirb prepared their Razor and Icy Wind attacks, throwing them in Asterob's direction. Like before, the Yamask blocked the attacks with his purple-lined mask, which flashed as the blasts of air and ice hit it. "Finally!" Asterob muttered, and the mask began to glow.

Kirb's eyes widened. " _Move!_ " he shouted, and he and Nye jumped to either side just in time to evade a massive blast of energy erupting from the golden mask, blasting through the wall behind them and creating an opening to the outside.

"Oh bloody hell," the Yamask muttered as he saw the damage. "Now I have to rebuild the wall..."

As they got back on their feet, Nye gave Kirb a grateful smile. "Good call, Squire. A cunning last second maneuver!"

Kirb gave Nye a brief nod in return. "Call it a hunch. I knew that mask had to have some kind of gimmick when I noticed the purple outlines. Normal ones are plain gold or silver." He turned to Asterob. "He kept guarding because it absorbs most attacks and uses the energy for a retaliation attack. I guess it saves learning Counter or Bide."

Asterob's eyes narrowed suspiciously as he peered over his mask at the intruders opposite him. "How'd you know?" he asked.

"O-okay," Kirb stuttered, avoiding the question, "what're you _doing_ here, anyway?"

Sighing, Asterob relaxed enough to lower his mask. "Look, I'm just an architect hired by the Netkings to design and supervise the construction of this place! It's still being completed by the building team! We didn't mean for anyone to know about it this soon!"

Nye's attention was drawn upwards when he thought he saw movement. The light from the lantern didn't quite reach the ceiling, but the Axew could swear there was _something_ oozing around just out of sight. He ignored Kirb teasing the increasingly frustrated Yamask for a few moments before raising a careful paw. "E-excuse me, Squire, mask-wielder, uh, forgive my rudeness, but there appears to be some kind of purple slime covering the room?" After a confused pause, Asterob and Kirb looked up and noticed the ceiling, which was _moving_ , extending down the walls and bubbling menacingly.

"Oh bollocks, what now?" Asterob cried, clutching his mask tightly with his hands.

Kirb groaned, throwing his hands up. "Augh, damn!"

All at once, two tendrils of slime extended from the ceiling, grabbing the Axew and Ralts and lifting them up to dangle from a great height, unable to move their limbs through the sticky substance. Asterob hid behind his mask, peering out in fear around the dark room. Out of the slime above dropped another ball, which landed on the tiled floor and formed itself into a Grimer, a familiar-looking rope collar (complete with glowing stone) around her neck. She laughed to herself, striking a triumphant pose. "Simple, effective, disgusting. What's not to like?"

"I don't like _you!_ " Kirb cried, quickly adding, "Whoever you are!"

"Not another one!" Asterob whined, shivering behind his mask. "Please stop whatever you're doing! The builders and I worked really hard on making this place!"

The Grimer smirked. "Buddy, I don't know what they're paying you, but I hope it's worth more than what I'm being paid to do _this!_ " She leapt on Asterob, dragging him to the ground, then squelched back, leaving the Yamask glued to the floor, covered in slime and unable to move.

Asterob struggled for a moment before sighing in defeat. "Oh, crumbs."

"Now, my little ghost type," the Grimer said with a grin, "you got something I want."

Wincing, Asterob apologetically explained, "S-sorry, I'm not really ready to become a father right now..."

The Grimer rolled her eyes. "No, Spook-boy, the _weapons?_ Fork 'em over, or I'm bringing the roof down on your little dollhouse."

"Fair maiden," came a cry from above, and the Grimer looked up to the Axew dangling not far above her. "Your offensive gooey substance is familiar. Mighteth you be related to another such warrior who goes by 'Doubling'?"

"Oh, yeah," she replied, matter-of-factly. "I'm his sister, Splat. We're both rogues."

Nye gasped, and Kirb resisted the urge to roll his eyes. " _Rogues!?_ Foul wench, you will pay!"

"No!" Asterob cried. "I can't give those weapons up to anyone, let alone rogues! They're still under development, too!"

Kirb frowned. "They are, are they?" he muttered to himself.

"Well, you can either lose your toys or your dollhouse," Splat said. "I'm even being nice and letting you keep your little mask either way. You have to choose one, bucko."

Out of the tiles behind Splat, unnoticed, rose a second purple blob of goo, sporting two dot-eyes and a lined mouth. It kept its form for only a second before growing to twice its size and changing into the form of the Axew stranded above.

"Now hurry up and make a decision. I haven't eaten in hours and I'm effing starving."

The disguised Axew slashed at the Grimer with a Dragon Claw, splattering her amorphous form across the tiles. She was quick to react, pulling herself back together and lunging at the Axew with a Poison Jab attack, protectively landing back in front of Asterob to glare at her new opponent.

"Very cute," Splat scowled.

GC disintegrated out of his Axew form, remorphing himself into an imitation of a Ralts, somersaulting away from Splat and sending out Psychic waves in her direction. To her credit, Splat was equally quick to react, flattening herself to the ground as she raced to catch up to her Ditto opponent. Realising she was about to reach him, GC dropped his Ralts form and remorphed again into a Yamask, but the Grimer was on him before he could prepare an attack. The two amorphous pokemon seemed to disappear into a ball of black and purple as they fought for dominance. Finally, Splat seemed to damage GC enough that he again dropped his disguise, returning to his natural form, and she threw him up to the ceiling, where a tendril of slime grabbed him to dangle between his friends.

"So there," Splat said with a grin.

Kirb made his best attempt at a wave through the slime holding him still. "Hiiiii, welcome to the loser's club."

The triumphant Grimer returned to Asterob. "Allow me to repeat myself. You can either lose the weapons or lose the mansion. I want the weapons. Be smart. You've got ten seconds."

As Splat began to count down from ten, GC began to morph again, and disappeared into the slime. The tendril that held him retracted and rejoined the sludge coating the top half of the room, which itself began to retract into a ball on the ceiling.

"Three, two," Splat continued counting, "one, ze-!" She paused, and looked up, finally noticing that her slime seemed to have stopped obeying her. "Oh..."

The tendrils holding Kirb and Nye released the pair, dropping them gently on the ground, before combining and dropping down onto Asterob, lifting up to reveal the slime around him had also been removed.

Splat tried to hide her growing worry behind a smirk. "Pft, you guys don't scare me," she cried, before suddenly the tendril that had previously freed Asterob fell on her with great force, retracting quickly back into the ball on the ceiling. Moments later, a glob of slime was catapulted, screaming, out of the hole in the side wall.

Kirb, Nye and Asterob watched in amazement as the mass above them shrank and fell back down between them, once again in the form of a normal Ditto.

"That was incredible!" cried Asterob, bouncing around in the air and smiling widely at their rescuer. "Thank you so much!" He paused to look around at the room, pleased to see no trace of the slime that had previously covered it. "And the place looks fantastic!"

GC gave him a small smile. "If you give me a moment, I can also mend the hole in the wall for you."

"That was... pretty cool," Kirb admitted, still shocked.

"Indeed!" Nye agreed enthusiastically.

Asterob bounced again. "More than that, you've saved me!" he cried, then turned to look up at the portrait of the Volcarona. "Now at least Webmaster won't find out I almost ruined his new tournament grounds."

Kirb frowned. " _That's_ what this place is for? Setting up tournaments?"

"Yes," Asterob sheepishly replied. "Just a little new activity they wanted to throw in for everyone. It's actually in preparation for a bigger event coming up! I don't know all the details." Lowering his mask and holding it to one side, the Yamask held out a shadowy arm and pulled out of it a small, blunt dagger. "They gave me this, and adjusted my mask a bit, to test out this... well, I don't know exactly what, that they're working on in the HQ. Like you said earlier," he gestured to Kirb, "they work by absorbing attacks and reflecting their power back in a big shockwave! As far as I know, they're planning to make more, maybe based on different moves, and distribute them around the island. They won't be complete for a few months yet at least." He shuddered, clutching the dagger tightly. "I do worry about what those rogues wanted them for, though."

"The one I just took care of will not bother you again," GC assured him.

Asterob smiled, crying, "Oh, thank you again! I don't know who you are, or anything about you, but I know undoubtedly that you are a very nice pokemon!"

Kirb and Nye glanced at each other guiltily. "Yeah..." they groaned.

"Here," Asterob said, approaching GC. "In exchange for helping me out like that, I want you to have this, the Drain Dagger." He held out the dagger in his arms, and GC thought for a moment before reaching up and taking it. "I feel it will be in safer care with you, anyhow."

"I appreciate the gift," GC replied.

Asterob smiled widely. "Oh, it's the least I can do! Like I said, weapons like these should be all over the island in a few months, so you'll just have it early!"

Kirb growled, and Nye smirked at him. "Jealous, Squire?"

"Shut. Up."

 

* * *

 

_"All in all, the mission was a failure. It's too bad I wasn't able to do anything to help out."_

_"It sounds like you did your best considering the circumstances. There's nothing we can really do about that. I'm just curious as to how you got back here before she did."_

_"I wouldn't be surprised if she got scared pretty badly. GC seemed pretty confident she wasn't coming back, so maybe he did or said something to her before kicking her out like he did. It's also entirely possible she's just forgotten about the Escape Rope we tied around her neck."_

_"I suppose I wouldn't put that past her. She was recommended by Doubling, after all."_

_"Tsch. The real question is, when she finally shows up, if we pay her or not. That mansion will open to the public soon, and there's no way we can guarantee GC won't be there to stop us again either way."_

_"I suppose we have no choice but to wait and see on that front. We have other things to do in the meantime. I can handle our little Grimer friend."_

_"You're a saint."_

_"No, I'm not, but your gratefulness is appreciated. Now get out of here and get some sleep. I'll talk to you tomorrow."_

_"Sure. I'll seeya then."_


End file.
